


my immerlin (a My Immortal Parody - all credits go to original author xxxbloodyrists666xxx)

by mangoslice, romanticplatonic



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, M/M, just for lols
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangoslice/pseuds/mangoslice, https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticplatonic/pseuds/romanticplatonic
Summary: FULL DISCLOSURE:THIS IS A PARODY OF xxxbloodyrists666xxx’s ICONIC FANFICTION MY IMMORTAL. WE (THE AUTHORS OF THIS PARODY) DO NOT MEAN ANY HARM BY MAKING THIS AS THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND WE ARE MAKING ZERO (0) DOLLARS OR CURRENCY OF ANY KIND BY WRITING THIS. WE HAVE SUBSTITUTED MAJOR PLOT POINTS, RELATIONSHIPS, PACING AND SETTING TO CREATE THIS PARODY. CRITIQUE AND OR PARODY (WHICH WE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS) IS GENERALLY EXEMPT FROM COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS. (that being said, all fanfiction is copyright violation). THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.





	my immerlin (a My Immortal Parody - all credits go to original author xxxbloodyrists666xxx)

**Author's Note:**

> FULL DISCLOSURE:  
> THIS IS A PARODY OF xxxbloodyrists666xxx’s ICONIC FANFICTION MY IMMORTAL. WE (THE AUTHORS OF THIS PARODY) DO NOT MEAN ANY HARM BY MAKING THIS AS THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND WE ARE MAKING ZERO (0) DOLLARS OR CURRENCY OF ANY KIND BY WRITING THIS. WE HAVE SUBSTITUTED MAJOR PLOT POINTS, RELATIONSHIPS, PACING AND SETTING TO CREATE THIS PARODY. CRITIQUE AND OR PARODY (WHICH WE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS) IS GENERALLY EXEMPT FROM COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS. (that being said, all fanfiction is copyright violation). THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.

FULL DISCLOSURE:  
THIS IS A PARODY OF xxxbloodyrists666xxx’s ICONIC FANFICTION MY IMMORTAL. WE (THE AUTHORS OF THIS PARODY) DO NOT MEAN ANY HARM BY MAKING THIS AS THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND WE ARE MAKING ZERO (0) DOLLARS OR CURRENCY OF ANY KIND BY WRITING THIS. WE HAVE SUBSTITUTED MAJOR PLOT POINTS, RELATIONSHIPS, PACING AND SETTING TO CREATE THIS PARODY. CRITIQUE AND OR PARODY (WHICH WE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS) IS GENERALLY EXEMPT FROM COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS. (that being said, all fanfiction is copyright violation, for example, Anne Rice’s iconic late-00’s, early-10’s takedown of fanfiction regarding her books). THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

CHAPTER ONE

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

Hi my name is Morgana Nimueh Raven Pendragon Way and I have long raven black hair (that’s how I got my name) with dirt and sticks in it that reaches my mid-back and mossy green eyes like the forest and a lot of people tell me I look like Morgause (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). ([I’m not related to Nimueh but I wish I was because she’s a high priestess.) I’m a witch but my blood is red not green. I have pale white skin. I’m also a royal, and I live in Camelot where I’m the king’s ward . I’m a lesbian in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly jewel tones. I love the royal tailor and I buy all my clothes from there. As an example today I was wearing a long emrald green dress that matches my eyes. I was wearing red lipstick, and no eye shadow. I was walking outside the castle. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun. I was very happy. A lot of knights stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them.

“Hey Morgana!” yeled a voice. I looked around. It was…. Arthur Pendragon!

“What’s happening, Arthur?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said annoyingly.

But then, I heard my maidservant, and girlfriend, gwen, call me and I had to go away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER TWO 

AN: Fangz 2 ao3 staff 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW hetz stop flaming ma story ok!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

The next day I woke up in my huge bedroom. It was raining once again. I opened the curtain of my four poster bed and drank some herbal tea from a gold mug that I had. My bed was expensive and soft looking. I got out of my bed and took of my long elegant nightgown which I used for pajamas. Instead, I had gwen help me put on a corset, a purple iridescent dress, a gold necklace with healing properties, and some leather shoes. I put on a pair of earrings that my brother gave me in my pierced ears, and then gwen helped me put my long black shiny hair into an extrvagant updo with curled strands framing my face..

My girlfriend, gwen woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her medium length dark brown curly hair and opened her beautiful brown eyes. She put on her pastel purple dress with flowers on it and put her hair in a bun. We put on some perfume and kissed.

“gfyuafkglGL, I saw you talking to Arthur Pendragon yesterday!” she said in her sweet voice.

“Yeah? and?” I said, nonchalant.

“Is he your brother?” she asked as we started to walk out of my room and into the castle corridor. 

“No he fucking isn’t!” I shouted, because us gays are very dramatic.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Arthur walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I dryly replied.

“Guess what.” said he.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, the royal flute choir are having a concert in the lower town.” I was told by him.

“What!” I yelled. I love TRFC.. They are my favorite musicians, besides Lady Helen. “Well…uh…... do you want to go with me?” he questined

I gasped.

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER THREE

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY hetts OK! odderwize fangs 2 da gays 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN MORGAN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 these ancient songs.

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Then I put on a red greian style flowy dress that was very freeing beause i did not wear a corset. I put on a matching headpeice with a crystal that sat on my forehead. I curled my hair and I listened to the fire crackle. I painted my nails with an essential oil and put on a little black eyeliner. Then I put on some rosewater spray. I didn’t put on foundation because it wasnt invented yet anyway. I drank some hot herbal tea so I was ready to go to the performance.

I went into the court yerd. Arthur was waiting there in front of his horse. He was wearing a simple baggy white shirt (he has no sense of style) brown pants, black leather boots and a little eyeliner (AN: boyz can wear makeup okay!!!).

“Hi Arthur!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Morgana.” he said back. We walked up to his horse and rode to the place with the concert. On the way we talked excitedly about hating our father, uther Pendragon. We both smoked some roayll herbs. When we got there, we both jumped off the horse. We went to the thrones set at the front of the stage for us and politely sat as we listened to the Royal Flute Choir.

“Toot toot ToOTtt toot toot tooooooooot toot ToOT TOOT toot toooooot” played the lead flutist (I don’t own this beautiful song)

“The lead flutist is so fucking talented. I bet he’d make a great king.” I said to Arthur, pointing to him as he played, filling the hall with his amazing flute music.

Suddenly, Arthur began to look upset.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we headbanged along to the music. Then I understood.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t think he’s better than YOU!” I said, in a comforting voice.

“Really?” asked Arthur sensitively and he put his arm over my shoulder all brotherly.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know him and he’s going out with the fucking witch finder. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of his hatred of witches.  
The night was really fun and i thought it was gr8. So did Arthur. After the concert, we drank some mead and asked choir for their autographs and portraits with them. We got some TRFC chalices with our names on them.. Arthur and I hopped back onto his horse, but Arthur didn’t go back into Camelot instead he rode the horse into……………………… the forest (which was not forbidden)!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER FOUR

AN: I sed stup flaming ok mrgena’s name is MORGINA nut mary su OK! ARTHUR IS SOO IN LUV wif her (as a sister) dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

“ARTHUR!” I yeilfed. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Arthur didn’t answer but he stopped the horse and he jumped off of it. I jumped off of it too, interestedly.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked, angry.

“Morgana?” he asked.

“What?” 

Arthur leaned in really close and I looked into his bright blue eyes which revealed so much depressing sorrow and bravery and then suddenly I didn’t feel angry anymore.  
And then………..…… suddenly Arthur hugged me passively. Arthur started crying and told me that he was in love with his manservant, Merlin. He told me that he knew that merlin had magic and that he was scared that our dad would execute him. Then i told him that im a seer and i have magic and i did a spell in front of him for the first time.  
“ignem accenderent! ” I screamed. I started a fire. Arthur laughed loudly in surprise.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE OLD RELIGION ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was………….Gaius! (and merlin)

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER FIVE

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a HET! Da only reson Gaius swor is coz he had a stomcjache an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 doing magic! 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

Gaius made and Arthur and I follow him. He kept shouting at us. He was very angry.

“You ludacris fools!” he shoted..

I started to cry tears of fear down my royal face. Arthur tried to comfort me . When we went back to the castle and Gaius took us to his chambers.

“You were practicing magic in the forest!” he shouted in a very angry voice. 

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” yelled gwen

“How dare you?” demanded Merlin.

Everyone was quiet. Gaius looked frious still but I said. “I think i’m going to retire for the night” and got up to leave

I got up from the table while Arthur glared in my direction.

“Are you okay, Morgana?” Merlin gently asked me.

“Yeah sure.” I lied. I left with gwen and I went to my chambers and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with white lace. When I came out….

Gwen was standing in front of the bathroom, and she started to play ‘Symphony in G Minor’ by the Royal Flute Choir. I was very flattered, even though she was supposed to be in my chambers. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and she reluctantly went back to her house.

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER SIX

AN: shjt up hetz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

The next day I woke up in my bed. I put a navy blue gress with bell sleeves and gold embroidery. I put on a pair of dangly gold earrings and an expensive gold necklace with lapis lazuli in it. A princess from persia gave it to me on a royal visit. I pinned blue flowers into my hair that gwen had picked for me.

In the royal dining rooml, I ate some fruit, white bread that only royals can afford, and some milk from the royal cows (arthur is lactoast intolerant so he can’t drink it). Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the milk spilled over my dress.

“fucker!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gay with messy hair. He didn’t have an ugly neckerchief anymore and he had bright blue eyes just like Huniths.

He had absolutely no stubble on his chin. He had a high pitched fake English accent. He looked exactly like Colin Morgan. He was such a twink that my gaydar went all hot when I saw him kind of like a sixth sense for us gays.

“I’m so sorry.” he said shyly

“That’s all right, Merlin” I apologized.

“My name’s Merin, although most druids call me Emrys these days.” he confessed.

“Why?” I roared.

“Because I live to serve the once and future king of Albion.” he whimpered.

“Well, I am a witch.” I grumbled.

“Really?” he giggled.

“Yeah.” I exclaimed.

We sat down to talk for a length of lime. Then Arthur came up behind me and told us he had a something for me so i went with him away from the area that i had previously been sitting at..

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

AN: BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING AO3 STOP REPORTING US! Morgana isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A WITCH! n she has problemz shes got uther for a dad 4 godz sake!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

Arthur and I went up the strairs. I was wearing a ring with the pendragon crest on it (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u hetz?). I waved at Merlin. He smiled at me weaakly. I guess he was jealous of me that I was spending time with Arthur. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Arthur. We went into his chambers and locked the door, we couldn’t have anyone one overhearing us talk shit about his majesty (our father the king). Then……………...

We started laughing about how stupid uther is and arthur fell off his bed, ripping his ugly shirt. I laughed leaning back in a chair when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Arthur’s arm. It was a dragon breathing fire. On it in an elegant font were the words………… Merlin!

I was extremelly angry.

“You bastard!” I screamed furiously, jumping out of my chair.

“No! No! Morgana, you don’t understand!” Arthur begged. But I knew what had happened.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “I’m meant to be your sister and you didn’t tell me!”

I threw his shirt at him all huffily and then stomped out. I threw this breakfast tray at him using magic. Arthur ran out even though he was covered in food. He had a really big you-know-what (jam stain on his pants) but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Gaius’ chambers where Merlin was scrubbing the floor. 

“MERLIN EMRYS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I screamed.

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER EIGHT

AN: stop claiming that this is plagerism ok! if u do den u r a het!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

Gaius looked at me and then Arthur came into the room even though he was covered in jam and other breakfast foods and started pleading with me to forgive him for keeping his relationship a secret.

“I’m sorry Morgana! But I love him so much!!!!! !” Arthur screamed, obvoisly in love.

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Gauis demeaned angrily in his old man voice but I didnt pay him any attention.

“Merlin! Why didn’t you tell me you and Arthur were together!? And I can’t believe you let my brother get that tattoo!” I ranted madly at him.

Gauis took in a sharp inake of air that one might call a gasp.

I don’t get why Morgana was so mad at me. I had been in love with Merlin for a while but until now I hadn’t known he loved me back! I wanted to have a piece of him with me forever, so I got the sick tat.

“But I’m not going to keep secrets from you anymore Morgana! You know that I trust you more than anyone!”

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forest where I had shown Arthur my magic and then I started to bust into tears. 

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER NINE

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da legends! dis is frum da tv show ok so itz nut my folt if morgana swers! besuizds LET MERGANA SAY FUCK and da reson uther dosent lik arthur now is coz hes a disappointment and merlin is his bf! TRFC ROX!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Arthur for not telling me about the tattoo. I began to cry against the tree where gwen and I would make out against sometimes.

Then all of a suddenly, a unhonorable man with red eyes and no hair and everything started riding towards me on a horse! He didn’t have any hair (basically like uther in the goblin episode) and he was wearing all expensive clothes but it was obvious he had no taste. It was……………… Uther! 

“No!” I shouted, scared. but then Uther shouted “STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” and I couldn’t run away.

I started screming but Uther fell of his horse and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I hate him so I stopped.

“Morgana.” he yelled. “You and Arthur must kill all sorcerers!!”

“No, Uther!” I shouted back.

Uther gave me a sword. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy belovedst gf gwen!”

I thought about gwen and her smexy eyes and her curly brown hair and how her face looks just like Aphrodite.

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised voice.

Uther got a look on his face. ”bc im the KING” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Merlin, then thou know what will happen to Gwen!” he shouted. Then he rode away angrily on his horse.

I was so upset and angey and I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Arthur came into the woods.

“Arthur!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all red and upset. He was wearing another ugly white shirt kind of like a rag or a washcloth (He got his fashion sense from our dad). “Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he replied.

“I’m sorry I got so mad at you before but I thought you cared about Merlin more than me and tat you would negect me” I expelled.

“I wouldntve!” he said loving and we went back into Camelot together talking about our shitty dad and how gay we both are (AN: i no athur is bi!!!).

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER TEN

AN: stup it u dumb hets if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! Please keep in mind that this is a paroody and we mean no disrespek!!!!!

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

I was extremely scared about Uhter all day. I was still upset when i went to lunch with my goofd friends. I am the advice giver and the coolest (except for my gf gwen). Lots of people say that we act like we’re on a doble date all the time but little do they know that we are. The other people in the group are Gwen, Merlin, and my stupid brother Arthur. Only today Arthur and Merlin were off kissing or something so they weren’t coming and we talked about how they don’t know how to dress themselves.. I knew Arthur was probably jousting (he wouldn’t die because he was a gr8 fighter) and Merlin was probably collecting herbs and crying (bc he’s overworked). I put on a linen corset that showed off my boobs and an elegant orange gown with long sleeves. You may think I’m a slut but I’m not (i only dress so sexy for gwen).

We were speaking about Merlin’s ugly scarves when I suddenly bust into tears.

“Morgana! Whats wromg?” Gwen asked in a concerted voice.

“Yoi know my stupid dad uther?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Uther came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Merlin! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he does fuck my brother!. But if I don’t kill Merlin, then Uther, will fucking kill you!” I bust into tears again. Suddenly Arthur hopped out from behind a plantl.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he yielded. “How could you- you- you fucking peasant!” ( is dat out of character?)

I started to cry. Arthur started to cry too. Then he ran out crying.

We talked for one hour more. Then suddenly Gaius walked in angrily! His eyes were all angry and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he was just grumpy in general. 

“What have you done!” He started to cry knowledgeablyy. Morgana, Arthur has been found in his room. He was poisoned again!” 

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

AN: i sed stup claiming that this is plagery because it is criritqe anda parody! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

“NO!” I screamed. I was in shook! Gwen tried to comfort me and i told her that i loved her but that i needed to be alone for a sec and I ran to my room crying myself. Gaius chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a creepy old man that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of sorrow and then I threw a box of tea across the room. The tea leaves got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on the fire in the hearth and listened to it crackle. I was so sad! I got out of the bathtub and put on a white low-cut nightdress with lace all over it sandly. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Some of the knights were looking through my window “EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU HOMOPHOBES OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a linen towel. Suddenly Merlin ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at the creepy knights pointing his arm. I took my sword and stabbed the creepy knights a bazillion times and they both started screaming and their chainmail broke. Suddenly, Gauis ran in. “Charlotte, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at the creepy knights and then he waved his arm and suddenly…

Gwen ran outside and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Gwen? You’re just maidsevant!”

“I MAY BE A MAID….” gwen paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A BADASS!”

“This cannot be.” One of the knights said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where I had stabbed him with my sword.

I felt faint, more than I normally d, you kmow like how it feels when you do not drink enough tea.

“Why are you doing this?” one of the knights said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Gwen said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving her sword in the air. Then she started singing a verbal version of a Royal Flute Choir song

“tOOT toot TOOt TOO-oot T-t-tOOT” she sang beautifully. She didn’t have enough money for a real flute so she had perfected the art of using a cappella to receate it

“Because ur gay?” The knight asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was a homophobe.

“Because I LOVE HER!” 

 

\-----------0--------------------0-------------------0------------------0-----------

 

END OF VOLUME ONE

**Author's Note:**

> FULL DISCLOSURE:  
> THIS IS A PARODY OF xxxbloodyrists666xxx’s ICONIC FANFICTION MY IMMORTAL. WE (THE AUTHORS OF THIS PARODY) DO NOT MEAN ANY HARM BY MAKING THIS AS THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND WE ARE MAKING ZERO (0) DOLLARS OR CURRENCY OF ANY KIND BY WRITING THIS. WE HAVE SUBSTITUTED MAJOR PLOT POINTS, RELATIONSHIPS, PACING AND SETTING TO CREATE THIS PARODY. CRITIQUE AND OR PARODY (WHICH WE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS) IS GENERALLY EXEMPT FROM COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS. (that being said, all fanfiction is copyright violation). THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.


End file.
